Ronke Mcleod

I experience his loss like a sudden realization. As if I can’t hold his passing in my head as a continuous reality, so I re-live learning of his loss repeatedly. My thoughts spiral and swirl in a rising panic until it ends in tears, despair, profound loss. Every day that passes, I think of something else I wanted to talk to him about; something else I’ll miss that I’m just now realizing is gone. I mourn for all of life’s milestones he won’t be here to see me through and struggle with what they mean to me now, knowing he won’t be here to witness them. Hearing and reading his tributes, I know Papa was a role model and friend. He made people believe in something and most importantly made you believe in yourself.  

Papa was fun. Funny. Strict. A smart aleck. Proud. Strong. Eternally curious. Continuously learning. Loved his family. Loved his country. Always saw me as a full person. 

I loved him and am thankful for every moment of time I was able to spend at his side, on a call, watching tennis, playing chess, playing music, debating development theory, explaining tech, petitioning for an allowance, complaining, laughing, crying, learning to dance, learning to drive, getting advice, understanding, listening, observing… 

I feel the weight of his legacy on the people and community he has left behind, countered only by the gift of vision and belief in man he left behind. I miss him dearly.